I've been asleep for almost a year.
A few weeks ago a friend committed a single act of kindness.
It woke me up.
It fixed me in a way. Something had been broken for a while.
I don't think either of these people know what they did for me, and how much it helped.
It's funny...months ago I was very very damaged and another friend committed a single act of kindness and it saved me from myself utterly.
Could it be that being receptive and accepting of kindness is all I need?

Here are some pictures as of late!


So, guess who was about to throw a bowling ball and got told to turn around for a photo?
Doesn't this look like I'm about to start a murder-festival with that ball?
It was a very pleasant situation though.


This one I like because of how absurdly happy I look in it, and now very distracted John looks.
I also like how I can see my bra through this shirt. Not.


I don't know if I shared this yet, but this is my new favorite item of all time. My fuzzy astro-turf Jesus bank. The savior was never so fun to touch before.
I might give this God thing a second go if Fuzzy Jesus is any indication of the humor involved. It probably isn't..but one can hope, right?



Isla De Salsa - The Japanese really dig Latin music and free dance lessons by saucy chickies.



Silly moments are often the best.





Art Club decided to just carry their best work and I love how it looked. Traveling windows to places and things unknown!

That's it for now.

I'll be damned if it's the last you see though.
I think I'm awake now.

This is not necessarily LJ-based.
But.

I cannot be (good) friends with militant people.
I've tried. Really. No really! I dated a few, I've had a few as bosom buddies, I've had a few as intellectual peers. But christ. What a waste of airspace. Verbal soldiers. Linguistic terrorists. It all winds down to PC thuggin' and coffee house guerilla warfare, doesn't it?

Gender / Religion / Politics / Ethnicity Issues ?

I just can't.

I am (unwilling) unable to participate in that kind of hurtful intensity.
I can't go around hunting for ways to offend people, much less spend time justifying the offenses as simply part of expressing my opinion. No no no. Being a jerk is still being a jerk.
There are ways to discuss things and say things and disagree with things that do not involve hateful, hurtful, asinine remarks that personally attack or upset those receiving them.

I disagree vehemently with a lot of what people get militant about.
I do, I really do. So many crass generalizations, so many twisted, misquoted, or outright fabricated quips to build some sort of persona for yourself? I see this spit out by people poisoned by their own failures and life frustrations, their social impotence shall we say. You've failed to integrate or partake, and have come back to hinder and destroy. Bravo. I'm so glad modern conveniences and social structuring make such a cushion for (self) destructive malcontents to land on and bounce back from.

And I despise the tactics used. Taking a stand doesn't make you a man. or a woman.
It makes you a man or a woman affiliating him or herself with an issue.
How you present it directly ties into how you present yourself.
And militancy is ugly. Saturday night 4 a.m. ugly.

I want to say you have no right to continually spew and spread hatred and strife into this world, but, you do.
What you don't have a guaranteed right to is my attention or friendship.
Not anymore.

But you won't miss me. Like attracts like, and you've long since surrounded yourself with people who hate the same things and have the same level of disdain for society and feelings and love and hope and friendship and mutual agreement and compromise and objective discussion and beauty and delight that you do.
You have your posse. Your military.
March in it. Don't look back.

Were we so different before?
Is it so surprising that I react negatively to negative input?
Yes, we all get it. You have been wronged, and choose never to heal.
You will not go quietly into the night. You will rage, RAGE into death.
I on the other hand, will have a nice iced tea and a dog-eared scifi novel keep me company instead. There's room for you on the sofa with me if you want to talk.
But only if you stay civil.
Which...it seems...is impossible....for you.
I think I may need to defriend a few people from my collective online life.

Happy Birthday.

Any questions?

It's been a while since an update eh?
Fell out of the habit, and into the nasty Facebook habit instead.

Well...

I realized that I became a pirate when Pan left my window forever.

That's all.

Japan is a strange place filled with things that I never dreamed I would do.

Maybe it's for the best that I never come home. What is there for me now?

-sigh-

Most people have more or less forgotten I ever lived.

Perhaps, in this land of geomancy and water energy...it's all been forgotten.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30238583&l=61040&id=30821764

Thanks Wendy.

So here I am, entering the nostrils of year three (or exiting the heels of year two, however you look at it) in Japan.
This is my last year year, I have promised myself this.
I will be taking the GRE soon, this I have also promised myself.
I will be applying to grad school following that, in something or other. Once again, a promise.
There are all sorts of promises over my head now, and very little motivation to keep them.
But I am plugging along.
I do volumes of art these days, but usually into letters I send to people, so it has no lasting value. They probably throw them away soon after receiving them. It's frustrating to want to do art for people, but manage it only in a transient form.

I am an oldbie now... the Mama-san of the area and I will be partly in charge of herding the youngins' come August.
I've made good friends, many of which are leaving thus August as well, to my chagrin.
I've goals a-plenty, which is odd for me, and patience a-plenty, which is damn near miraculous for me as well.

Other than that, same-old same-old. I'd like it to be different-new in the near future.
Working on it.

Instead of uploading for several hours, how about I link you guys to where I have been hiding my photos since February because of LiveJournal's crazy posting policies.

February photo albums:

Arita, round two! Porcelain was never so fun.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2165840&l=4c41f&id=30821764

Osaka (I'll sock ya) Japan with friends.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2164755&l=001a6&id=30821764

Seika Band Bash - my fellow ALT Joy's all-girl school are marching band champions!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2166713&l=4d821&id=30821764

March photo albums:

Kitakyushu fun times! (costumes, FTW)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2168353&l=5daf2&id=30821764

Photos from my trip to Thailand, including the ominous bluefoot pigeon!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2171827&l=2fef1&id=30821764
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2171973&l=e73d9&id=30821764

April photo albums:

Hanami, the traditional Japanese celebration of cherry blossoms!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2175658&l=a5817&id=30821764

My 27th Birthday
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2175659&l=f9fd3&id=30821764


I have a slew of pictures to post aside from this, but this is a start.
Thank you to Cathy and Craig for the lovely bonanza of pants and Chex Mix.
Thank you to Sarah for the DVDs!
Thank you to Mom for everything. 1/4th of my house is filled with stuff you've sent.

First....hilarity.

My photo account expired and I had to renew it.
To celebrate... I present one of the funniest pictures ever.
The youth Sumo tournament culminated in this moment, when the youth champion got picked up like a sack of rice.



Second.....pictures. Coming.